Thursday, February 16, 2012

Too late for a refund?

I openly acknowledge I've had a pretty awesome life, so far. Things have not been overly difficult and I've been cradled in a spectacular luck pocket that has dropped some fantastic shit in my lap and kept me out of any serious trouble. All in all... I can't complain, which is why I'm pretty sure the last few years are karmic tuning, because OMGWTFBBQ?

I have a lot on my plate, right now. I'm stressed and very tired because of it. One might say I'm quickly running out of candle.

I've now been divorced for a year, and I'm mostly over it. I still get twinges of remorse for how terribly I handled a lot of it, but I don't think there's any good way to really tell the person you've spent a decade with that you're done and moving on. Especially when they aren't and don't want to.

I don't regret leaving. I'm happier now, for sure, but I do wish I'd gone about some things differently.

Things with my parents continue as they have. My mother still refuses to let anyone other than myself in to help and it's wearing her out. Stubborn Irish.

My dad has had a couple of falls and I've had serious issue with how my mother has handled the situation, but I think she now understands that trying to take care of it herself and not calling me immediately is foolish and she needs to cut the shit and let me handle it. I also need to have a talk with her about meeting with a lawyer to discuss important things like getting my name on accounts and the like. She just doesn't grasp what a nightmare it's going to be if something happens to her and I'm left with my father and no access to anything, except through him. Whenever I bring it up, she acts like I'm out to rob them blind, which is insulting on a level I can't even properly express.

The coup de grâce was dealt on K's birthday, when he found out he has skin cancer that's spread to the lymph nodes in his left leg/hip.

Late last month he had the melanoma removed from his leg, which left a crater in his calf, and they biopsied some of the lymph nodes in his left hip. The good news is that it hasn't gone anywhere else (*knock on wood*), but he has more surgery coming up, next week, to remove the affected nodes, and there's at least a year of treatment ahead of him to try and stave off a reoccurrence of it. Which they estimate has at least a 40% chance of happening.

It's fucking balls... seriously.

In all this there is one bright spot and that's the fact I've been approved to convert to FT at work, which means healthcare and PTO and 401k (not that those are worth shit, right now) for the first time in years.

I'm hoping the conversion will somewhat coincide with the start of K's treatment, so I can have some paid leave to get him over the initial hump, when he'll be the most ill, but I'm guessing that will depend on where I am in the karma regeneration...

So, all in all, this year is not off to a stellar start. I'm really hoping it perks up, because I'm running out of room on my shit list.

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